I went to Outback and ordered a steak. It came with a dinner salad before hand. My waiter asked me what I'd like on it, and I told him of my hatred.

"Unless you make it entirely out of croûtons and ranch dressing I won't be eating it, but thanks anyway."

3 minutes later, a plate full of croûtons covered in ranch dressing adorned my plate.

Yes, that man got a 30% tip.