Actual quotes from members of the Something Awful forums

I had honey mustard and chicken, several helpings of gravy and turkey breast, a shitload of mashed potatoes, tons of stuffing, loads of cranberry sauce, two slices of my friend's dad's pumpkin bread pie, ice cream, more cranberry sauce, cookies, several beers, a glass of wine, a quarter bag of tostitos and homemade salsa, and atleast a gallon of pepsi.