Actual quotes from members of the Something Awful forums

As I type this, I have a dish of falafel, fries, & pita in front of me. Also, I had 4 Guiness and 6 beer battered shrimp earlier. Oh, and I can't forget my breakfast of a bagel with cheese, scrambled eggs and bacon. I'm never going to lose these last 20 pounds if I keep letting depression/stress get the best of me.