Actual quotes from members of the Something Awful forums

Okay, so I just got back from subway, and I ordered my normal sandwich (footlong BMT), and I got it with provolone and mustard and ranch sauce and olives and pickles and banana peppers and lettuce and onions and tomatoes and also bacon, and an extra large soft drink and 2 choco (thats what i call chocolate) chip cookies, and the cute latino girl behind the counter was trying to look away from my face and also holding back laughs.